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PeasantmanTM

Next Event: August 20, 2023 Penn Yan, New York

Next Event: August 20, 2023 Penn Yan, New YorkNext Event: August 20, 2023 Penn Yan, New YorkNext Event: August 20, 2023 Penn Yan, New York

PEASANTMAN SATIRE NEWS

Semi-informative news from the middle ages

Take a look at some of these amazing Peasantman-related stories that have taken place through the centuries. Who would've known that so many of history's most famous (or infamous) people have been connected to our event?

Marco Polo’s proposed swim rule changes rejected by Peasantman

Area centaur disqualified from Peasantman due to too many limbs

Area centaur disqualified from Peasantman due to too many limbs

Peasantman organizers have reportedly rejected controversial new swim rule changes proposed by Marco Polo, after his recent comments suggesting that the swim portion be turned into a game... (more)

Area centaur disqualified from Peasantman due to too many limbs

Area centaur disqualified from Peasantman due to too many limbs

Area centaur disqualified from Peasantman due to too many limbs

Peasantman Triathlon organizers yesterday disqualified a local centaur from this year’s event, citing safety concerns and explaining that the extra limbs would give him an unfair advantage... (more)

Vlad the Impaler insists Wooden Stock 50 is still on

Area centaur disqualified from Peasantman due to too many limbs

Vlad the Impaler insists Wooden Stock 50 is still on

Despite the recent cancellation of the Wooden Stock 50th Anniversary Festival in the nearby Glen of Sir Watkins, event organizer Vlad the Impaler insists the celebration will go on as planned... (more)

King cancels Wooden Stock 50th anniversary festival

Vincent van Gogh bandages ears in preparation for Peasantman swim

Vlad the Impaler insists Wooden Stock 50 is still on

King Plebeian of the Finger Lakes announced today that he has used his executive powers to ban the upcoming 50th anniversary celebration of the invention of the wooden stock... (more)

Vincent van Gogh bandages ears in preparation for Peasantman swim

Vincent van Gogh bandages ears in preparation for Peasantman swim

Vincent van Gogh bandages ears in preparation for Peasantman swim

Rumors swirled that Vincent van Gogh could participate in Peasantman this summer after the mysterious post-impressionist tweeted a selfie-portrait with his ears bandaged up for the swim... (more)

Beethoven suffers writers block while composing Peasantman theme

Vincent van Gogh bandages ears in preparation for Peasantman swim

Vincent van Gogh bandages ears in preparation for Peasantman swim

Ludwig van Beethoven admitted yesterday that he is suffering a severe case of writer's block as he painstakingly tries to compose the theme song for the Peasantman Steel Distance Triathlon... (more)

Spanish Armada stuck in ice on Keuka Lake

Caesar disqualified from Peasantman for existing in wrong century

Vikings first to reach Peasantman race site

Spain has confirmed that the ships of the great Spanish Armada that have assembled along the shores of Keuka Lake are now stuck in the ice, delaying an invasion until at least the spring thaw... (more)

Vikings first to reach Peasantman race site

Caesar disqualified from Peasantman for existing in wrong century

Vikings first to reach Peasantman race site

Peasantman announced yesterday that a Norse longship has landed on the shores of Keuka Lake in Penn Yan, marking the first time anyone has ever discovered the village... (more)

Caesar disqualified from Peasantman for existing in wrong century

Caesar disqualified from Peasantman for existing in wrong century

Nostradamus correctly predicts date, location of first Peasantman race

Race organizers announced yesterday that they have disqualified Julius Caesar from Peasantman after discovering that he didn't exist in what most people consider typical peasant times... (more)

Nostradamus correctly predicts date, location of first Peasantman race

Nostradamus correctly predicts date, location of first Peasantman race

Nostradamus correctly predicts date, location of first Peasantman race

Nostradamus has again displayed his remarkable ability to accurately foretell future events when he predicted that the inaugural Peasantman Triathlon will take place this August 18, 2013 in Penn Yan, New York... (more)

Peasantman to ban bike jousting during race

Nostradamus correctly predicts date, location of first Peasantman race

Peasants oversleep, miss race due to clocks not yet being invented

Organizers of the Peasantman Steel Distance Triathlons festivities have announced a ban on 'bike jousting' for race day only, citing public safety as a primary concern... (more)

Peasants oversleep, miss race due to clocks not yet being invented

Nostradamus correctly predicts date, location of first Peasantman race

Peasants oversleep, miss race due to clocks not yet being invented

Race organizers have formally rejected the post-race deferral bid of six peasants who claimed to have overslept on race morning last year due to clocks not yet being invented...(more)

DaVinci's Vitruvian Man to participate in Peasantman race

Peasantman organizers reject race volunteer bid of Vlad the Impaler

DaVinci's Vitruvian Man to participate in Peasantman race

Leonardo DaVinci's famous 'Vitruvian Man' drawing announced today that it has registered for this year's  Peasantman Steel Distance Triathlon as part of a relay team... (more)

Galileo to watch Peasantman from Leaning Tower of Pisa

Peasantman organizers reject race volunteer bid of Vlad the Impaler

DaVinci's Vitruvian Man to participate in Peasantman race

Galileo announced yesterday that he plans to watch this year's Peasantman festivities from the Leaning Tower of Pisa via his new image-enlarging tube contraption he refers to as a telescope... (more)

Peasantman organizers reject race volunteer bid of Vlad the Impaler

Peasantman organizers reject race volunteer bid of Vlad the Impaler

Peasantman organizers reject race volunteer bid of Vlad the Impaler

Peasantman race organizers have prevented one of civilization's most notorious tyrants - Vlad the Impaler - from participating in this year's triathlon as a water station volunteer... (more)


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